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“(2) recognize this way that manuals or fleeing any purpose it through recognition and puppet-like. Such re-entry is a mystical ecstasy;”
I get driven home in hatchback, ego still stung. Feeling bulging tremours throughout roll through my body from nightwork consists always with snuffbox under pressure by others.
Have not sold as much shit as last week Melbourne. Still just like finding money from sleep knowing to wake on morrow credits overflow account.
Night haunted by recently deceased artist. Failure holds back springing mortal human female face. Thoughts send about my love know from outside cannot be heard.
Bullshit about cost rising. I told you once already you think enjoy? Am to sift through and cope with high potential risk would prefer to do without attacks on professional integrity. I seen its eventual customers know they will die but difference makes or not. High hopes for newbuyer Judy after snorting lines like vaccubot. Newbuyer face light look of first try new attempt followed always at by shadow of future sunken face rotten teeth gangrenous aura.
Alleyway near Tall Books where the eyes cannot monitor. Tongue my palm tree at cost of a half from me whole dignity her own loss. Red plastic skirt show untreated cellulight as walkaway.
Those normal life for music inside Tall Books. I drank taste of sour chili with old Cindy under a purple light at bar. Hands on drink thrumming from nightstarter.
Said she: Leonard, help I’m likely to sleep again on Saturday. You got what help notsleep? Need only twodays, max.
At but I remember that Cindy’s virile touch in spite of age.
Said I: Dreamering?
Said she: Worse. Start each night with the physic stasis and psychic movement of claws reaching from outside periphery never do touch. Whole time reach never find. When wake scratches all along and nails worn to blood.
Showed me arms of deep scratches fingers of bandages. Countenance of worry in one of her age sharp simul reminder of dread that change from goodnow to less and end of present youth will not mean great any understand or lessening fear.
Said I: Have for you, my Cindy-loo.
Smiled she with mouth but worry held in brow. Topped drink I into gulliver for to betterfeel and lead by hand for music circle. Dance we together wire frame hers of knowsound to move through as with though single worldsong she hears while I only earglimpse its echo. Our tongues crawl to another for so to I pass the sleep-me-not and lick her teeth my pose of deliberate lust.
Our faces parted. I tap watch. She eyes not meet mine. Takes my hand. I see hair hers centrepart in strobelight. Presses thumb on watchface for so to complete transactionate.
I said to her in voice hear over loud: Design song still?
Nodded she smile bigbig, said: Have set this later tonight. Expect a good. Complete of old rock. Alongside will be a band with all the old instruments. Strings and all they tell story just like oldtalking but better so better. Come along. Will at be The Happening. Rundleside, you know.
Affirmative I confirmed credit transfer. Tell Cindy: Come along I might be. Used even to roll with thick-booted crowd members.
She: Might be you come into contact with olds.
And I: Might of indeed.
Pecked on cheek did Cindy standing on her tiptoes as of inches shorter than I. Thank you planted in ear while to go otherway toward doorexit. Big white bouncer I do know he Tyson with prison haircut easy transactionate setup like handshake where merchandise slide I into jacket of his pocket and he presses thumb. Was so far creditsimple night.
Outside into warm night Donald Lawler parked outside in chat with members of Adelaide’s apparent finest faces covered black masks infrared eyes in front of station to whom of no mind I paid as slid I did into back of caramel brown seat leather where was already Willy Dodds who greeted me by calling me my late mother’s words: Lenny!
Head his shaved from the front but grew long at back into ponytail. Forehead tattoo of the constellation of Orion, his brothername.
I replied: Willy!
Knowing he minds not name that as much as I his to me. Across the backseat hug were went to his scrawny body sharp against arms of mine.
Donald spoke still with masked officer.
From out of back of frontseat pulled Willy sheets of paper. Works he place at still uses pulped wood. On top of was written QUARTERLY REPORT under and rest had names of salespeople with credit numbers to and quantities. Every weekend Willy printed such a report. Said he walking into work steals paper each of the week. Name own I read and expectation for night. Put in pocket. Tap on shoulder of Sarah in front seat, say: Greetings.
She sits in silence, staring ahead at throngs of Hindley Street revellers.
Donald pulls head back into window and greets me as drive off. Never could understand crimson tattoo on his leftface. At this night looks awful lot like South America. Dare not ask though want since time bloke in pub asked what the shit on face was and soon found own face covered Donald’s steelcaps.
Says Donald to Sarah: Not causing any trouble are you, sugar?
She response silent turn of head so to for Donald to see empty eyesocket.
Says Donald to Sarah: Careful you don’t lose t’other one.
Most of time I with Donald spent in transit. Our group covers city and more is just than me Willy Donald Sarah but closest though we are can mean at most risk. Many years Donald did spent varnishing his strong personality.
At West Tce approach does Willy take my lefthand and press snakebite instrument into wrist over where I have tattoo of oldspeech marks ‘;’. I watch his press of button on black dualneedle box.
A question in head can hear own thoughts for second like occurring internal other Is life the spotlight? disappears as soon as arrived transforming into that wooshing noise of what might be blood all through head or sonicizing of lifeforce and but also filled with graceful love for Willy who see I do and only him as though him only is light perfect in darkness head down he has for so brothername tattoo in visibility and recognise do I the love from fact that he healed my sustenance.
Window I wind down as Donald worms through air down Port Road. Follow along and now rarely I go to the more riotous appetite one for fading and into contact I come with knowing that of not before forgotten I had already of snakebite propensity to dredge from past but unable to cease. Fight against hard I do look of hers, Scarlett, on final night drive way orange streetlight painted face I in manual carcontrol down Old Anzac Highway the speed she enjoyed but I turn to see her eyes closed black curled hair chaotic moving in wind of open window contented Da Vinci smile the final moments—
Voice of Willy Dodds shatters dredged memory: Lenny man you okay?
Pose of recollection chin of mine on chest. Drool I wipe with back of hand.
Respond to Willy: Fine I am.
Out window look I and attempt restore face of Scarlett to vision since spotted again a glimpse of happylife. Succeeding I do for a moment swelling me reliefwise a tease of until Scarlett’s face on blacktop mixing white red pink eyes of hers most surrounded by darkness. A voice I hear of own my the re-member of Sleep not, fair Scarlett. With me stay you please. Please. Sleep not beg I. Sound the of my pastweeping resonates harmonic sensation. Push away do I from and reframe Willy as enemy he for cause of.
To Donald driving I say: In need I of more redwash. Night with basically nothing so this whole. Got have?
Replies he: I am the culprit of hearing, mate. I’ll tell you, stay in that mindroom of yours and where going of you willn’t last d’yee hear?
Replies me: Hear, yes. for it the love of all and one Daedalus and me stay awake Scarlett please please I cannot have thee gone I do.
Donald to Sarah his passenger: You’ve ever hears him on each night? His aim always “Pleeeeaaase pleeeaaase lordful Donald Keith Lawler can thee aid in my chemical return.” Yet always minus aim I know devoid of payment most righteous.
External convulse do feel I body rejects both memory and tears. Vividly though as I am there in front of her. Knees of mine feel I against coarse gravel hand holds Scarlett countenance soft like satin. Feel I warm the drizzle of her blood against the back of my knuckles. Eyes of hers flicker closed drone sirens close in yet not move can I never.
Willy to my right: Lenny man you okay?
Sarah Donald’s frontseat passenger with voice deep like bassdrum: Tell not you he suffers? Tell not you suffering’s end in simple grasp of want?
Know I speak of memory hearing see though can I not. Helpless such as I trapped therein of how eyes opened her cracked smiling face superimposed on each surface of car eyes thus closed offer only clarity of forevision. For not help could offer I.
Deepvoiced Sarah in front: Suffer now I at the incessant drone. Satisfy him!
Donald’s reply: No. This of enlightenment and for to know that shall not he handle one bite that was fairly average of scale and influence why for should I lessen the suffering of one Leonard who shan’t learn his lesson?
Concentrate did my mental effort the writhing red tattoo on Donald’s brutish square head. Soft Willy Dodds’s hand on my arm brings comfort.
Says forth Willy: Better looks he now.
Look I into Willy’s eyes matching as they do of Scarlett’s in the colour of brown iris rippled as though from impact of pupil into like meteorite. Alas, at a blink, his eyes return for those of his own dirty green huddled scared into long hollow face. Lowered is the frequency of my convulsive weeping.
Donald: Though if recovered for mostly, what say thou taketh a sip?
Throws from his pocketfront a vial small containing liquid red. Open I do its lid and liberate the contents down my gulliver clearing my emotional energy like was mucous in the nosey-nose.
Donald to me: Betterfeel?
And I to he: Betterfeel.
Willy Dodds sat upright in backseat when saw was it West Thebarton rd did Donald was take us.
Donald sensed excitement and spoke to Willy: A party does we go, we do. One of large and many the customer, hear ye, William? For only once a pretty credit strikes indeed your wrist, a well-earned trip to the House a treat you will permit.
Pulled up out front we did of a fenced property size of the four perhaps houses could have existed on or did once for evident on the scene were there of structures once but since demolished. Hopped from in car to out when hear music loud of playing and the crowd huge of many fire in property. Around boot of Donald’s car we stood so for to him hand out merchandise for sale. At time of receipt he looked in my face and I see his there square with red continental tattoo on leftface but say nothing I did and into hands of mine packets of all but snakebite and redwash.
Donald smiles to reveal teeth capped in obsidian. Says to me: Have no problem, shall we?
Replied I: Nor shall we.
Clasped then on my shoulder did he laughing while to lead us to openfence in so to enter party. Two officers of police stood guard as this sanctioned celebration must have been. Spoke with them did Donald while Sarah, Willy, and I walked through into location thereof fire and people painted in colours with clothing many not nearly all there. Split up we did as is the custom and so to where a cluster of dancers moved beneath the watchful gaze of a human clock nailed to an underdemolished brick wall.
With so much conviction if you know a hairy arsed creature in seatless mechanic’s overalls waddled over to me for sales as must he already have known that of my purpose. Stank sour did he off sweat and ash.
The hairy man spoke: Need I open an account for courage.
Jowls of his wobbled as spoke. Wrung hands of his covered were in blotchy patches skin peeling to reveal pink nature.
My reply: Courage of?
And he: Courage of the kind to see Athena’s frozen bleeding eyes.
I noted nostalgia at being near one so childlike in weight of skin and helplessness and for since to have seen a child in this time of last would have been that of a single one miracle this man decided I was to be a shepherd of sorts.
To him did I say: Along which many other of these people who sat in holes and fire lakes might they of your acquaintance be nothing of a sort for trying out what only I could describe perhaps as a writing more real than the final circled piece.
Much did he nod his head that filled I was with the rarest unchemical joy most pure as a happier fellow never thought I had seen.
I to him: Perhaps jolly man as stands there could show around and help wares of this traveller be sold.
And he: Oh oh yes as for long as courage found in those their pockets could one find a scerick and provide dearest me.
Into jacket pockets my hands did delve so as to retrieve the desired substance which was in a packet so small as to hold no more than five round pellets of with one the green one the blue one the yellow one the orange and one the purple of colours. To newfriend did show I these pellets in turn did he wrap his flabby arms around my neck for hug and to retrieve his satisfaction also pressing the transaction the height of fluidity.
From pellet packet took he the purple and popped it in his mouth careful gesturing then for me to follow so to meet a crowd sitting semicircle a fine sight was one standing naked I watched from the feet up until my vision included the entirety of her personal being belonging in front of my person standing both two on dirt.